The opening scene of “Cuchera” by Joseph Laban is what the satire “Babae sa Septic Tank” is making fun of. It’s the best example of poverty porn showing a stinky dumpsite with two boys living in a cave-like dwelling under the mountain of garbage. Former sexpot Isadora is shown walking on the trash mountain and it turns out the boys are her kids. The film quickly abandons them and focuses on Maria Isabel Lopez, with a not so well defined role as a former prostie and drug mule who now manages her first shipment of drugs to China through four drug mules who hide the drug capsules in their private parts, anus and abdomen. The problem is there is no single sympathetic character in the movie. Most of them are either dumb or stupid or, even worse, repulsive, like Isabel’s nephew (CJ Ramos) who masturbates as he peeps on her while she’s in the bathroom. When they all get apprehended by cops at film’s end, our sentiment is: “Buti nga sa inyo, mahuli kayong lahat, mga bobo!” But we did pity Isabel when, at her age, she was made to do an over-extended but worthless nude scene where she exposes her sagging breasts. At the start of the movie, it’s stated that the Philippines leads all Southeast Asian countries in the number of nationals arrested for drug smuggling charges in China and there are currently 95 Filipinos languishing in various Chinese jails. After watching this movie, we no longer wonder why. They deserve it as they’re such big idiots naman pala!
