"Nawawala ako,” he declared. “I'm very lost, very confused. Walang kinalaman si Nikki. It all boils down to me. It's an undescribable feeling. It's like all these negativity, confusions, the sadness, the hurt. Nikki is a dream come true when it comes to finding the right one. But it's hard to find the right one kung ikaw mismo, you're not right. I forgot who I am. I don’t know what I’m doing. Because all I know what to do is to work. It’s been almost 26 years I’ve been in this industry. I’ve been everywhere. And this is the first time I ever felt this way. That’s why, I ask everyone, do not blame Nikki. She has no fault. I’m not a perfect guy. I’m not a perfect person. I’ve done some things in my life that I regretted. And she supported it. She understood. She was there. But I tend to go home by myself. It’s so simple to go around with friends and to enjoy and forget about the problems, nakalimutan ko ako, eh. I’m the one who’s completely lost and I’m searching. I asked her this, ‘Give me the chance to find myself.’ It’s very difficult. I love her and I still do. I don’t want to continue to hurt her because I became distant. And I don’t want to continue to hurt her because if I continued with this relationship, in the long run, hindi na kami magkakatugma. We don’t see eye to eye on things.”
Billy flies to his parents to the U.S. on Saturday, August 3, to do some soul searching. “I really need to be with my mom. I have to start from scratch. I have to start from where I came from. I came from my parents. I need to try to find what was making me happy before, who I was. I sometimes feel like I’m not good enough. I learned na importante pala na mahanap mo muna ang sarili mo. I think kung maligaya ka, mas madaling magpaligaya ng tao. The later part of our relationship, hindi ko na napaligaya si Nikki. Nasaktan ko siya. She’s an amazing person. I feel like the devil is really strong. I feel defeated. All I can ask for is forgiveness.”
As for Nikki, we admire her decision to keep quiet and just keep it all private. But some wags speculate that Billy has just replaced Nikki with Coleen Garcia, Jericho Rosale’s ex. Some also can’t prevent themselves from cracking jokes about him. “Hindi kaya ‘My Husband’s Lover’ syndrome yan? At 26, hinahanap pa ang sarili, confused? Baka na-realize niyang he’s really more in love with his best friend,” they say, referring to Luis Manzano.
